I need to cry

i knew
what i want
and then
i got it
like a christmas gift
for a spoiled kid

then i've realized
it is not enough
enough for me
and suddenly
new feelings
came out

i just want to cry
cry it out
i am not that strong
i am different
than i thought
everything inside me hurts
like thousands of needles
like an explosion

i just want to rip my organs out
& blow my mind off

and cry and cry
all nights
all days
until the moment i would feel better