Chapter one - El and Ce

Faster than light cargo spaceship beloging to highly intelligent species “Purr” have just emerged from hyperspace in the outer rim of the Solar system. That’s not a solar system, but THE solar system accomodated by humans.

L: “Updates?! Navigation computer is installing updates?!” complained “El”, one of only two members of vast space ship.

C: “What? The bloody thing installed updated right before the jump. I got stuck in the elevator for half an hour!” responded “Ce”, El’s only companion.

L: “Elevator got updated? Something critical?”

C: “Um, I think the music changed.“

L: “Aaanyway. How about game or two while we wait?”

For magnificent beings of race Purr, there was rarely any hassle. Not crew nor superintelligent AI running errands of the ship were concerned about emerging from hyperspace in unknown solar system. Purr’s strolled into unsurvayed systems as casually as middle aged man into McDonalds.

When El and Ce arrived into comfy gaming room, they were welcomed by plush-like furniture, two sets of high-end force-feedback tactile controllers and big screen radiating with purple color and simple text saying: “Updating. Please wait while we enhance your gaming experience!”.

L: “What?! Gaming system is updating too? Ce, I thought you’ve planned the route such that we avoid nodes! This was supposed to be no net vacation route!”

C: “Dude, there is no node! We are out of singnal. We are in the middle of nowhere!”

L: “Then where is the update coming from?”

They both standed puzzled for a while. Since it was clear they won’t get answers from each other, they approached nearest communications computer, which was rather inconveniently showing the same purple screen, only with image of overly-happy looking Purr people having engaging conversation.

L: “None is ever that happy”

C: “Yeah .. what now?”

Just like for any other intelligent organism, bordom is unberable for Purrs. And so, just like any other bored living beings, they resort to drinking and eating.

L: “Want to get any squag?”

C: “Would be great”

L: “Will you go get it?”

Ce payed El grumpy look but went to get squag anyway. Drink would really sprung him up. Maybe he could even solve this update mystery. With anticipation of his favourite energy drink and upbeat mood Ce followed corridor to nearest squag dispenser only to find cabinet radiating with familiar purplish glow.

L: “That’s madness! Are thay chaning font on that thing or what?”

C: “Maybe we will get new drink?”

L: “Didn’t happen in ages. Besides, there is no major releasse planned”

C: “Have you installed alha version? El! You know how dangerous that is!”

L: “No! Absolutely not! I rembember Keg’s case very well, thank you!”

Keg is Ce’s and El’s friend from the station. Eagerly, he installed alpha version of new drink. Alpha version is unfinished product with missing features. It might mean drink without proper color, or as Keg found out, drink might have some bugs. Kegs had four and they were nastily crunchy.

L: “You know what we have to do.”

C: “Noo .. please don’t. He’s so dull!”

L: “C’moon Ce, you know we have to!”

And so the desperate two crew members went to do someting Purr people hate. They went to talk to their ship’s AI to figure out, where are the mysterious updates coming from.

Meanwhile on Earth

Noone has anny idea that there is huge cargo spaceship in the outer rim of solar system and Donal Trump is still president of USA.

Back on the ship

The path to the ship’s computing core inhabited by currently most clever being in the Solar system was paved with particulary bad practical jokes. You see, Purr’s sys admins didn’t like others to poke around internals of ships. And so to enter maintenance hatch, one must solve whatever challenge ships sysadmin prepares.

El and Ce both stared at the riddle. The screen was showing a simple dot in the center and line segment at the left. Ce took controller with four arrows and pushed one of them. Line segment started to move towards edge of screen and once it hit it, it stop with familiar “game over” sound that every Purr recognizes. The game is so plain and simple that even humans have it’s variant, calling it “snake”. And so El and Ce sat down and enjoyed unfamiliar game, while the ship was continuing it’s predefined path into systems star known as “Sun” to humans only to refuel and simply jump to another star.

Earth, White house

Man with ugly blond nest of a hair sat in his office watching Fox news, while red phone rang. With thoughts of another warhead test in North Korea, mr president Trump picked up the phone.

“Mr. President? We found something. In the space. I mean .. they found something. You should see this!”.

----

Komentáře můžete psát česky :). Píšu v angličtině, protože ta čeština mi už tak moc dobře nejde a psal bych to v ní déle (i když je moje mateřská).