Send me a sign 02

2

 

Having his first salary in his wallet he asked Lena to take her out. He planned to take her to a club to have a dinner and maybe to dance.

 

Lena agreed. It's been six weeks since he lived in her garden cottage and something like a tentative friendship has developed between them. She was still well aware of who he was and watched his behavior closely.

 

Entering the club he led her to the table that he had booked for them. Even though it was far from the bar they wouldn't have to shout at each other because of the loud music playing in the front part of the club.

 

„Well... now I'm able to pay for my living in your cottage and for food and everything, Lena,“ he said after ordering dinner. „I will pay you for the previous month as well.“

 

„No, you don't need to,“ she shook her head. „Let's talk about some contribution, OK? You should save some money for your future plans.“

 

„OK,“ he looked at her and thoughts swirled in his mind. In the last six weeks he got a chance to get to know her more and he realized he felt something for her. He struggled with his temper and tried to be a better man just because of her. He didn't want to disappoint her. He was grateful for everything she did for him. He liked her, her beautiful doe eyes, her chestnut hair although he didn't even dare to touch her hand. He was afraid she might think he wanted to hurt her. But he was sure he could never do something like that. He was glad when the waiter brought their dinner interrupting his train of thought.

 

They started eating. Lena noticed him staring at her before the waiter came and she wondered what was on his mind. She was attracted to him but she's never shown. She liked him but it wasn't easy to trust people for her. It always took a little longer before she started trusting someone.

 

„Would you like to dance?“ he asked when they finished eating and the waiter took away their plates. He stood up and held out his hand to her when she nodded. She got up and put her hand in his. She was surprised as his touch raised a wave of excitement surging from his hand through all her body. It made her head spin. She quickly covered it with a small smile.

 

They moved in accordance with the rhythm of the song in a mid tempo but then the slow song began. He took her hands in his and for a few seconds they danced like this. He couldn't resist the temptation to pull her closer so he did. At that point his heart raised its pace. She was very close so he could feel her body and smell her scent.

 

First she held her breath, then she put her hands on his shoulders and slowly breathed out. He felt it and released his hold to keep some distance between them, placing his hands on her waist. She rose her eyes to his for a moment before she looked away. He saw a hint of mistrust in her eyes in that short look and had a feeling that she felt uncomfortable.

 

„Is everything alright?“ he had to bend his head to her ear so she could hear him. „You still don't trust me, right?“

 

Her cheek touched his as she turned her head to him and she felt herself blushing. What's happening to me tonight? „It's not so easy to get someone's trust. Especially not mine, Eric.“

 

She became sad a little and he forgot all about caution, stroking her cheek. She shot her eyes to him and he pulled his hand back. "I'm sorry but you look sad," he kept looking in her eyes. "Lena, I..."

 

She stopped dancing and put her finger on his lips, shaking her head. "Don't say anything that you can't take back."

 

He let her go and they went back to their table. He ordered two colas for them and leaned back in his chair. He said nothing for a few seconds then he placed his hands on the table. "Did I say anything wrong? Tell me why did you become sad? I didn't want to hurt you, Lena. You're my angel, you know it?"

 

„You didn't say anything wrong, Eric,“ she answered slowly. „If you had wanted to hurt me you might have done it many times before,“ she broke off. „I know you aren't a bad man,“ she sipped from her glass and started playing with it in her hands. „I'm not blind. I'm also not indifferent to you but...“

 

He stared at her, confused a little bit, trying to understand. „I didn't want to upset you, I'm really sorry,“ he said, noticing tears forming in her eyes. „Come, I'll take you home.“ She nodded and handed him her car keys.

 

*

 

„Do you want me to leave you alone?“ he asked hesitantly as she unlocked the door. He was standing at the stairs, looking up at her.

 

She opened the door and turned to him. Her heart was screaming: Let him come closer, but her reason told her: No, leave him alone. She couldn't decide so she left the door open and stepped inside.

 

She poured coffee into two mugs and took them in the living room.

 

„You have no photos of your family here,“ Eric turned to her as he was standing in the middle of the room.

 

„I don't,“ she shrugged, handed him the mug and settled in the armchair. „I have none.“

 

He sat down next to her on the carpet, leaning his back against the armchair. She put the mug on the table and pulled her knees to her chest. Deafening silence filled the room and she realized he wouldn't ask.

 

„My mother passed away giving me the birth twenty five years ago,“ she spoke quietly. „I don't know who's my father. I've never seen him, nor my mother,“ her voice was calm, impersonal as if she was talking about someone else, not herself. „So... I have no pictures of them. I'm alone in the world, speaking about family.“

 

He kneeled, looking at her. „I'm sorry, Lena. I didn't know this.“

 

„You couldn't have known,“ she glanced at him and reached out to take the mug. She took a sip of her coffee and put it back on the table. If he touches me now I'll break to pieces. She closed her eyes for a few seconds. „We should go to sleep,“ she got up. „We have to go to work in the morning.“ She took the mug and went to the kitchen.

 

She felt his hands on her shoulders as he was suddenly standing behind her and lowered her head, closing her eyes.

 

„You're not alone,“ he whispered. „My mom loves you as her own daughter. Everyone in Sumter Place loves you. And I...“

 

She turned to him sharply. „You're right. Sumter Place is my family. A children's home was my first family. I don't feel lonely,“ she put the mug in the dishwasher and went to the staircase. „Your mom is an amazing woman. I love her, too,“ she looked at him. „I often think about to take her here, to give her home but I go to work and she would be alone here. So I always get to the opinion that it's better for her to stay in Sumter Place,“ she shrugged with a small smile.

 

„You're an amazing woman, too, Lena,“ he was slowly walking across the hall to her. „You're so strong. You gave me a home. Tell me if there's something I could do for you in return.“

 

„We agreed on your contribution, do you remember?“ she ran her hand through her hair.

 

He stepped closer and took her hand. She was about to pull it away but he held her tight. „You're nervous. Calm down, please. Everything will be alright, OK? Look at me,“ he waited till she turned her head to him slowly, breathing heavily. „I won't do anything you don't want me to do,“ he let her hand go. „Good night,“ he turned around and crossed the hall to go outside and to the cottage.

 

„Good night,“ she whispered. As she walked upstairs to her bedroom she didn't know what she should do. It can't be true that I feel something for him. I can't let him get under my skin.

 

Eric was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep, wondering what has he done wrong that she still rejected every hint of his feelings. It had taken a long time before he fell asleep with her face in front of his eyes.

 

*

 

„I feel lonely since Eric moved to his apartment a month ago,“ Lena answered when Eva asked her why she looked kind of sad. They were sitting in the pizzeria.

 

„Really? I thought you wanted to be alone,“ Eva winked. „Do you miss him?“

 

„It's strange but yes, I do... I miss him like hell,“ Lena shook her head. „I wanted to be alone. But now...,“ she shrugged. „Now and then I see him at work.“

 

„What will you do with that?“ Eva tilted her head on one side.

 

„I don't know,“ Lena sighed. „I guess there's nothing I can do. I can't tell him...“

 

„And what about him? Do you think he feels something for you, too?“

 

„He does. You know...,“ Lena made a pause and took a deep breath before she continued. „He tried to show me a few times what he felt...“

 

„Did he? And what about you?“ Eva asked curious when Lena didn't continue.

 

„I didn't let him show, I didn't even let him finish a sentence,“ she said in a low voice. „I can't understand how can I feel something for him. I know the way he is.“

 

„I see. And what is he like, Lena?“ Eva sipped from her cup of tea. „Is he bad or angry? Did he ever hurt you?“

 

„No, he isn't. He's never hurt me, no,“ Lena shook her head. „In the beginning he was unsteady and that's why I'm not sure if I should trust him. Even though he was nice and cooked now and then in my kitchen... I felt comfortable in his presence,“ she raised her eyes to Eva. „But I know that there's fury somewhere deep inside him that could blow out anytime. I know it's not quite his fault... his older brothers hated him... He's all alone.“

 

„It's hard to give you advice. I have a feeling you understand him. Maybe you're the only one who could help him. I don't know,“ Eva shrugged. „I think he's a complicated person but if you like him...“

 

„I should give him a chance. That's what you mean, right?“ Lena averted her eyes for a moment. „Despite his past... I think he's a good guy.“

 

„Despite his past..., look, Lena, every relationship is basically do or die. Either it will work, or not. You won't find out if you don't try,“ Eva watched her for a moment, then added. „The question is... if you repeatedly refused him... I hope he'll try to tell you what he feels once more.“

 

*

 

After Lena took Eva to her place, she drove home. She got out of her car. She fished the keys out of her purse, unlocked the door and opened it when someone spoke behind her.

 

„Hi.“

 

Her heart stopped in her chest and then it started beating like crazy. She immediately recognized Eric's voice. She slowly turned around.

 

He was standing there, his hair waving in the slight breeze, his eyes shining in the dark as she turned on the light on the front porch. He pulled his hands out of the pockets and stepped closer.

 

„Hi, what are you doing here? How did you know when I would come home?“ she asked, confused that she saw him.

 

„I've been waiting here for you when I found out you weren't at home,“ he smiled faintly.

 

„I see,“ she nodded, trying to put herself together. „Come in,“ she walked in and he followed her. „Did you need anything?“ she asked, putting her purse on the kitchen table. She poured coffee into two mugs and handed him one.

 

„Yes, I do,“ he answered, sipped from the mug and put it on the counter. „I'd like to ask you for just one thing,“ he looked in her eyes.

 

„OK,“ she was curious. „For?“

 

„Don't try to interrupt me again,“ he said firmly and took her hand. „I miss you. All the time I live on my own I miss you, Lena,“ he saw her take a breath so he put his finger on her lips as she used to do everytime he wanted to tell her something. „Nope. Listen to me, please.“

 

He stroked her cheek when she nodded. „I know I'm not a good match,“ he swallowed. „I thought a lot about everything and I can't help myself... I feel something for you. I needed to see you, feel your hand in mine,“ he looked down at their hands and raised his eyes to hers again. „Even though you showed me your disinterest before I had to tell you..., just let you know... I care about you. You are an angel sent to me as a sign that I might be a better human than before. I feel you understand me, you know me better than anyone in the world. I can feel it,“ he let her hand go and stepped back. „I'm not sure what you feel for me if anything,“ he shook his head slowly. „I don't want to push you. Give it a thought and if you find out you could like me, even a little bit... Please, let me know.“ He gave her a long gaze before he disappeared.

 

She was standing on the spot, frozen and stunned, still feeling the touch of his hand. She didn't make a move till she heard the door closing. She couldn't decide if she should run after him, or first think about what he told her.

 

She ran her hand through her hair. She walked on the back porch and stared into the darkness. She was taken aback with his words even though she had thought that he felt something for her. He said he cared about me. It's probably time to ask myself what I want. I know, I can feel deep inside my heart that I feel something for him. Can I dare to let my feelings out? Can I allow myself to start loving him after Jon disappointed me so much? She shook her head, feeling tears pricking in her eyes. Is it a leap of faith that I can take? Do I want this? At that point she heard Eva's words in her head again. She was right. Every relationship is do or die. Either it will work, or not. And I'm too young to stay single. God, I want to taste how it's like to be loved again. I should give him a chance and also to myself.

 

*

 

After a walk in the park Eric led his mom into her apartment. He pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and poured it into two glasses. Mary settled in the armchair and he handed her the glass.

 

„I need to go back to the kitchen,“ he sipped from his glass. „I'll come back when my shift's over, OK?“ he kissed her on the forehead and gave her a smile.

 

„Of course, Eric,“ she stroked his hand.

 

He left the room. Walking down the stairs he saw Lena at the reception. She had a day shift so she was probably about to go home.

 

She raised her head and their eyes met. It reminded him their first meeting. He smiled faintly and nodded in a greeting. He was surprised seeing her move towards him.

 

„Hi Eric,“ she greeted. „How are you?“

 

„Hi,“ his face brightened with a smile. „I'm good, thanks. What about you?“

 

„I'm fine, thanks. I thought... you know... Perhaps you could cook something delicious in my kitchen again... for us,“ she ran her hand through her hair in embarrassment.

 

„With pleasure,“ he nodded. „When?“

 

„What about on Friday... let's say... at seven p.m.?“ she offered.

 

„OK. I'll be there. Can I bring some ingredients?“

 

„Sure. And let me know what else I should prepare for your cooking.“

 

„I will.“ He will have to wait two days, he counted in his mind, so he will have enough time to think about what delicious meal he should cook.

 

„So... see you on Friday,“ she waved at him leaving.

 

He watched her till she disappeared out of his sight. Then he continued his way to the kitchen in a good mood.

 

*

 

On Friday Lena arrived home at four. She stopped at the grocery shop to buy things Eric texted her yesterday evening. She had most of it in the pantry. She pulled everything out of the bag, placing it on the kitchen unit. Then she put a bottle of wine into the fridge.

 

She walked outside on the back porch. Sitting here was her favorite moment of rest after work. She sipped from her mug of coffee and closed her eyes, smelling the fresh air.

 

Glancing at her watch she realized she had to doze off. It was almost six p.m. She rubbed her eyes, got up and went to the bedroom to change her clothes. She chose the black pants and the red top. After putting on make-up she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She was satisfied. She didn't want to look too provocatively. This is just right. Then she heard the doorbell ring.

 

Eric was standing behind the door, a platter in his hands. „Hi, I marinated steaks. Is it alright?“

 

Lena stepped aside to let him in. „Hi, sure it is.“ She followed him to the kitchen.

 

He put the platter on the counter, took off his jacket and put it over the chair. He took the apron from the peg, put it on and looked at her. „Let's...,“ he broke off and whistled. „Wow, you look amazing tonight, Lena!“

 

She blushed and waved him off. „Thanks. Did you want to say 'Let's cook', right?“

 

„Yes,“ he nodded with a small smile.

 

„Can I help you?“

 

„You can. We need to slice some vegetable,“ he pulled two pans out of the cupboard and put them on the stove.

 

She started slicing vegetable and watched him move in her kitchen as if he was at home. He knew where to search for everything he needed because it wasn't for the first time he was here. She felt as if he had never left.

 

„It was really delicious,“ she uttered when they finished eating. „You're an awesome cook, Eric.“

 

„Thank you, my lady,“ he made a curtsy as he got up to collect the dishes.

 

„You're welcome,“ she chuckled, helping him. „Are you happy at Sumter Place kitchen?“ He's so nice if he isn't swallowed with anger.

 

„Yes, I am,“ he glanced at her. „They're nice to me because I'm such a good boy.“

 

„Are you? Nice to hear it,“ she smiled. „It's great to see you in a good mood.“

 

He turned the dishwasher on and she pulled the bottle of wine out of the fridge. „Would you open it, please?“ she handed him the bottle. „I hope you like red wine. I didn't ask.“

 

„To be honest I prefer champagne or white wine but red one is OK, too.“

 

„I love red wine,“ she watched his hands opening the bottle for a moment then she prepared two glasses. „Next time I'll buy a bottle of white wine as well.“

 

„Next time,“ he raised his eyes to hers, put the open bottle on the table and took her hand. „Thanks for saying so,“ he lifted it to his lips and kissed her on the back of it. He let her hand go and filled two glasses with wine. „Do you wish to go outside?“ he took them when she nodded without a word, surprised by this softer side of him.

 

She followed him on the back porch. They sat down on the bench and clinked the glasses. She sipped from her glass, wondering when he turned in a perfect gentleman.

 

„The wine is good,“ he put the glass on the table and looked at her. „What are you thinking about?“ he saw something in her eyes that he couldn't recognize. Was it a suprise or mistrust? Maybe something else. He wasn't sure.

 

„Yes, it is,“ she slowly turned her eyes to him. She wasn't sure if she should tell him her thoughts. „I still have a feeling that I don't know you, Eric.“ She took a gulp of wine and put the glass aside. „Where did your anger disappear?“ she asked curious.

 

„Oh this,“ he nodded his head slowly. „There's no reason to be angry,“ he shrugged. „I have a good job, I can spend time with my mom who forgave me... and an angel was sent into my life. I have no reason to complain,“ he gave her a smile. „I'm not the same as I've been before.“

 

„I see. So you keep it inside,“ she shook her head. „You have the angel... who is it?“

 

He got up and crossed the porch back and forth saying nothing. „You didn't like it when I was angry,“ he furrowed his forehead. „It's better to let it sleep deep down inside of me.“ He leaned his back against the banister. „Who is it? My angel is no one else but you.“

 

„Me?!“ she lifted her eyebrow. „But I'm no angel, Eric,“ she added quietly.

 

„You are. At least for me. You helped me when I needed it. You came into my life and I found out I could be a better human, Lena. I want to be a better human...,“ he broke off and sat down back next to her. „Are you searching for my mistakes to have a reason not to like me?“

 

„No! Why are you saying such a thing?“ she frowned, folding her hands on her chest. „On the contrary, Eric. Perhaps I was the only one who saw something good inside you.“

 

„You're right. I'm sorry,“ he whispered. „I don't want to disappoint your... can I say trust? No. ... belief in me.“

 

She watched him as he averted his eyes and she could almost feel his vulnerability. She put her hand on his hesitantly. „You've never been a bad human, Eric. You've been alone for a long time. You need someone who believes you and loves you,“ she broke off for a few seconds. „I don't know if it's enough to let your anger sleep down inside,“ she said slowly in a low voice, pulling her hand back.

 

„What do you mean?“ he raised his eyes to hers. „Wait, you're telling me to visit a shrink, aren't you?“ he got up sharply and ran his hand through his hair, frowning. He felt his anger bubbling inside again. He took a deep breath.

 

Lena stepped closer standing behind him as he stared in the garden. She placed her hand on his shoulder and could feel his stress. „Give it a thought. I don't think you're crazy or anything like that. Don't you think it could help you?“ she spoke calmly and quietly to him. „I realize I have no right to give you any advice but... I'm just trying to help you.“

 

He didn't turn to her. She pulled her hand back and finished her wine. She retreated inside and left him standing there.

 

She was pulling the dishes out of the dishwasher when she heard him come in the kitchen.

 

„I will try to think about it,“ he started helping her. „Perhaps I should go,“ he sighed when they finished it and she said no word.

 

„Perhaps,“ she whispered and turned to him. Their eyes met.

 

He reached out and stroked her cheek. „Thank you for a nice evening.“

 

„Aren't you angry with me? I didn't mean to hurt you,“ she kept looking in his eyes, still feeling his touch.

 

„No, I'm not,“ he shook his head. „I know. It's strange but I'm able to keep my anger under control with you by my side. I always try to understand what you're saying to me,“ he smiled with a corner of his mouth. „You're different than anyone I've ever met, Lena. You know how to treat me. When I get angry you don't stir up my anger. You leave me alone and let me get my anger under control.“

 

„I'm glad that you understand,“ she smiled faintly. „Wouldn't it be great to get rid of it once and for all?“

 

„It would,“ he stepped closer, cupped her face and touched his lips to hers.

 

She closed her eyes. She felt drunk with the taste of his lips, it was heady. She shivered and opened her eyes again. Looking at him she realized how beautiful his eyes were.

 

„Good night, my angel,“ he smiled and stole one more kiss from her lips. Then he left.

 

„Good night,“ she whispered, standing alone in the middle of the kitchen, his kiss was lingering on her lips.

 

*

 

Lena glanced at herself in the mirror for the last time, hearing a horn of Eric's car in front of her house. She walked outside and got in the car.

 

„Hi. Where are we going?“ she asked curious and looked at him.

 

He pulled out of the curb and glanced at her. „I want to take you to the restaurant tonight.“

 

It's been three weeks since he kissed her the first time. They got used to getting together several times a week, mostly he cooked but a few times she prepared dinner. He liked to touch her and kiss her but so far he didn't dare to do more. He was happy that he could spend time with her, he didn't want to hurry but it didn't mean he didn't want more. He was crazy for her.

 

„Is everything alright? You look saddened a bit,“ she reached out and took his hand after he ordered meal for them. „Is something wrong at work?“

 

„No, everything's alright there. It's Stefan,“ he rubbed his forehead. „He called me today to inform me that he moved to Los Angeles. He got a job in a hotel as IT manager. He's always had a good grasp of computers. But he's my only friend and now he's so far away.“

 

„I'm sorry for this. What shall I do to cheer you up, my friend?“ she squeezed his hand.

 

„It's enough you're here with me,“ he took her hand in both of his. „Don't worry I'm aware that I have you,“ he smiled.

 

They were interrupted by the waiter who brought them meal. They were eating in comfortable silence, only their eyes were talking as they looked at each other now and then.

 

„It was delicious. Would you like coffee or anything else?“ he asked when they finished eating.

 

„Yes, it was. I'd prefer to have coffee on my back porch if you don't mind,“ she put her knife and fork on the plate and looked up at him.

 

„It's OK,“ he winked and gave the waiter a signal that he wanted to pay.

 

Later in her house Lena brought two mugs on the back porch. Eric was sitting there, looking straight ahead. She handed him one and settled next to him.

 

„You can go to visit him, or he can come to visit you,“ she said in a low voice.

 

„Sure,“ he sipped from his mug. „Thanks. You do the best coffee in the world,“ he smiled but she felt his sadness. She realized that Stefan was a part of his boyhood, his partner in crime.

 

„I know that no one can replace him in your heart,“ she stroked his hair and put her arm around his shoulders.

 

He turned to her, placed his hand on her waist and looked at her. They looked in each other's eyes for a few seconds before he leaned in slowly and started kissing her. She closed her eyes and slipped her hand in his hair. Feeling his tongue on the seam of her lips she opened her mouth slightly without hesitation and kissed him back. She still felt dizzy even though they separated to take a breath.

 

He got up pulling her up with him and hugged her. He pulled her closer and kissed her again. She sneaked her arms around his neck. She felt his hard-on as he pinned her against the wall of the house. He slid his hand under her top and kneaded her breast gently, his mouth nibbled her skin on the neck. She caressed his chest and slowly stopped him, breathing heavily.

 

„Come,“ she breathed out, taking his hand and led him to the bedroom. They threw their clothes all around and when they arrived to the bedroom they wore just their underwear. She unclasped her bra, eyeing his naked body from the toes to his eyes. She threw her bra on the floor. He was looking at her for a moment before he closed the door.