Send me a sign 06

6

 

Siting on the back porch Lena heard her phone ringing. She went to the kitchen to pick it up.

 

„Hi Eric, how are you? Did you finish at work?“

 

„Yes, I did. I'm fine. And you? Are you and Ellie ready for tomorrow's trip?“

 

„Yes, I'm ready. I haven't told Ellie about it yet.“

 

„So she'll be surprised... I hope.“ She could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

 

„Sure, she will. Where do you want to take us?“ she realized she was looking forward to seeing him.

 

„We could have lunch at Lake Sumter Landing and then... a surprise. Or if you insist on the original plan...“

 

„No, it sounds good,“ she smiled as she sensed his smile.

 

„At what time should I pick you up?“

 

„At half past eleven?“

 

„OK. I'll be there. Have a nice evening, Lena. And say hi to mom.“

 

„I will... oh Eric, don't you want to take her with us?“

 

„I didn't forget about her but I have a plan. We will walk a lot,“ he hesitated for a moment. „Should I call her to explain?“

 

„No, it's OK. I'll tell her,“ she reassured him.

 

„I want to make it up to her but first I need to talk to you about it.“

 

„Okay. No problem. See you tomorrow.“

 

„See you, Lena.“ He hung up.

 

„She's sleeping,“ Mary spoke behind her.

 

Lena jumped up as if she was caught in the act. She put the phone on the kitchen table and turned to Mary.

 

„Thanks, Mary,“ she smiled, running her hand through her hair.

 

„Were you talking to Eric?“ Mary smiled slyly.

 

„Um, yes, I was. How do you know?“

 

„Well, you were lost in thought when I walked in. Does he want to take you out?“

 

„Yes, you know... he wants to take me and Ellie somewhere tomorow. He told he will make it up to you that we will walk a lot. He didn't tell me where we would go,“ Lena put her hand on Mary's shoulder.

 

„Lena, don't worry. I understand he wants to be alone with you and... his daughter. Of course he will make it up to me,“ Mary stroked her cheek. „You're nice, girl.“

 

„Did you tell him...?“ Lena broke off, embarrassed.

 

„No, I didn't. I would never do that,“ Mary shrugged. „You will tell him one day.“

 

*

 

„Good morning,“ Ellie ran into the kitchen in the morning.

 

„Good morning, Ellie,“ Lena smiled. „I prepared breakfast on the back porch,“ she poured coffee in a mug for herself and led her daughter outside.

 

Mary was already sitting there, waiting for them.

 

„Good morning, granny,“ Ellie pecked her on the cheek as she took a seat next to her.

 

„Morning, sweetheart. Are you looking forward to your trip?“ Mary asked and started eating.

 

„Wow! Are we going to go for a trip?“ Ellie looked at Lena.

 

Lena shot her eyes to Mary then she turned them to Ellie. „Yes, we are. Eric invited us so he'll pick us up at half past eleven. Do you like it?“

 

„Yes,“ Ellie nodded. „Where are we going?“

 

„Eric told me it would be a surprise,“ Lena smiled.

 

„That's cool!“ Ellie was beaming.

 

Lena laughed shortly, ruffling her hair.

 

*

 

After having lunch at Lake Sumter Landing they got in Eric's car. He didn't tell them yet where they were going. He glanced at the rearview mirror and winked at Ellie.

 

„Are you curious where are we going, right?“

 

She nodded intensively. „Tell me!“

 

He chuckled and stopped the car. „We're here.“

 

Lena got out and looked around. They were in front of the Lighthouse Point Bar and Grill where they had been the night when Ellie ended up in the hospital. It was beautiful here even in the light of day.

 

„Will we eat again? I'm not hungry anymore,“ Ellie remarked, disappointed.

 

„No, we won't,“ Eric chuckled. „Have you ever been in a lighthouse, Ellie?“ he asked, pointing at the lighthouse that stood next to the restaurant.

 

„What is it, the lighthouse?“ she looked up at him.

 

He looked at Lena and made his way to the building. „The lighthouse is a tall building with a big light inside standing on the shore. The light shows ships in the night where the shore is, you know?“ he felt Ellie's little hand slid in his palm and it warmed him inside. Lena walked beside them, listening to him as he continued explaining Ellie what the lighthouse was.

 

After they climbed many stairs up they found themselves in the lighthouse. Ellie was goggle-eyed when she saw the big light in the middle of the room. Then she stepped to the window, wanting to look outside but she was too small.

 

Eric took her in his arms. „Better?“ he positioned her on his right arm, pointing at the lake. Ellie just nodded, staring outside.

 

Lena stepped to them. It was a wonderful sight. The lake was huge, surrounded by trees in a distance. The sun was shining, its rays reflecting on the surface. Lena glanced at Eric. His face was shining almost as the sun on the sky, a happy smile on his lips as he answered Ellie's every question.

 

We could be a happy family. That's what I want for my daughter. She should have loving parents. She's never experienced anything like that either with her father, or her mother. She felt moisture in her eyes and turned around.

 

„Where are we going now?“ Ellie asked as they left the lighthouse.

 

„Now we can go for a walk, a long walk,“ Eric answered and led them around the restaurant. There was a boardwalk in front of them. „The boardwalk leads around the lake, almost to its half.“

 

They walked on the boardwalk but within moments Ellie ran ahead.

 

„Ellie, I need to see you, don't run too far,“ Lena called at her, worried. Ellie nodded, running back to them and then forward again.

 

„She's really a vivid child,“ Eric laughed shortly, glancing at Lena.

 

„Yes, she is,“ she smiled faintly, her eyes still looking for Ellie.

 

„I saw something over there among the houses,“ Ellie ran back to them, smiling.

 

„Really? And what did you see?“ Lena asked, curious. „You should stop running, Ellie. You'll be tired soon.“

 

Ellie nodded and took Eric's hand with one of hers and Lena's with the other.

 

„I know what you saw,“ Eric looked down at her and winked.

 

„Can we go there, pleeeaaase,“ Ellie tugged at his hand.

 

„Sure, we can. That's why we're here,“ he looked at Lena who gave him a shy smile. He had a feeling she was a little sad.

 

They turned to the left, leaving the boardwalk behind them and went among houses to a place where the playground was. There was a chute, sandbox and monkey bars. Ellie let their hands go and ran to the chute.

 

„Be careful, Ellie,“ Eric told her and led Lena to a bench. „Are you OK?“ he asked as they took a seat.

 

„Yes, I am,“ she looked at him, worried that he could notice a change of her mood. „Why are you asking?“

 

„I had a feeling you were sad before,“ he watched her.

 

„Oh... I was just lost in thoughts a little bit,“ she smiled faintly. „It's a wonderful place here. The lake, boardwalk, small houses and outdoors all around. I like it. I had no idea about the playground.“

 

„Yes, I love it here. I thought Ellie would like the playground. She's really amazing,“ he turned his eyes to Ellie.

 

Lena recalled Mary's words, watching him. He'll kill me if he finds out the truth one day. She shuddered wondering if she shouldn't tell him herself.

 

„Do you think I could take my mom to the restaurant? Even though I'd like to cook something delicious for her,“ he turned his attention back to Lena.

 

„You can cook something for her. Maybe she will expect to see you today when we come home,“ she offered.

 

„You think... I should cook something for dinner... in your kitchen?“ he lifted his eyebrow, surprised by her offer.

 

„Why not? You used to cook there before...,“ she broke off, averting her eyes. Am I crazy? What am I talking about?

 

„I was,“ he nodded and reached out to touch her hand but he changed his mind right away. „Lena, I appreciate your offer to cook dinner for all of you,“ he said softly, sensing he was near to getting a second chance. He was very well aware he had to be careful not to ruin everything.

 

They left the playground and walked back. Ellie kept walking between them the whole time, holding their hands. Halfway home Ellie stopped. Lena looked down at her.

 

„What?“ she asked her daughter.

 

„My legs are tired,“ she answered, shrugging.

 

„Really? What should we do? Do you want to stay here?“ Lena smiled.

 

„No! I want to go home. But I can't,“ she frowned at Lena.

 

Eric laughed shortly. „And can you sit?“

 

„Sit?“ Ellie looked at him as if he had two heads.

 

„Yes. Just like this,“ he took her and positioned her behind his neck, her legs hanging down of his shoulders. He put his hands on her calves so she couldn't fall.

 

Ellie chuckled. „It's perfect,“ she leaned over, putting her hands on his cheek to hold on to something.

 

„Glad to hear it. Look,“ he jerked his chin to the lake. As the dusk was approaching, lights around the lake started turning on. „It looks beautiful, doesn't it?“ He looked at Lena.

 

„Wow!“ Ellie gushed.

 

„Yes, it does,“ Lena looked around. She glanced at him as they continued walking. She was surprised how easily he and Ellie became friends. They got along as if they had known each other for a long time.

 

It made her happy, on the other hand she knew if he left them, Ellie would be more hurt than Lena. Her daughter needed a father figure and Lena thought she'd found him in her uncle Jeremy. Probably she was wrong.

 

*

 

On the way home Eric stopped at his flat to pick up a platter with meat. He left Lena and Ellie in the car and was back in no time. He jumped behind the wheel and handed the platter to Lena.

 

„Can you hold it, please?“

 

„Sure,“ she put the platter on her lap.

 

„What is it?“ Ellie asked from the back seat, curious.

 

Eric turned his body to her. „What would you like for dinner, princess?“

 

Ellie briefly thought. „Something really delicious,“ she licked her lips.

 

„What about... the chicken meat with vegetables and rice?“ Eric offered, smiling.

 

„Yeah, I love it! How did you know?“ she looked at him with her mouth open.

 

He chuckled. „I didn't. I'm happy you like it. I'm going to cook it tonight,“ he started the car and pulled out of the curb in the direction of Wildwood.

 

Lena felt her heart in her throat. She couldn't get rid of a bad feeling.

 

*

 

„Eric!“ Mary walked in the kitchen and her face brightened up seeing her son there.

 

„Hi mom,“ he stopped what he was doing and hurried to hug her.

 

„I have something to do upstairs if you don't need me,“ Lena said with a small smile, watching them.

 

„It's OK, go,“ Eric nodded, eyeing her as she retreated upstairs. He resumed cooking when Ellie stepped closer.

 

„I can help you,“ she looked up at him.

 

„You? But you're small, princess,“ he ruffled her hair.

 

„I'm not small, I'm already five,“ she frowned. He stopped as the fact hit him. She's five? He saved it in his mind as he watched her pullling a chair to the kitchen unit. She kneeled on it, patting the board. „Now I'm bigger,“ she looked at him proudly.

 

„You're right. You're amazing,“ he chuckled. „OK, you can wash the vegetables if you wish to help me,“ he turned to Mary. „Mom, do you want me to make coffee for you, or anything else?“

 

„No, thank you,“ she smiled and poured coffee into a mug for herself. She sat down at the kitchen table. „What are you going to cook? Something delicious for dinner?“

 

„Yes!“ Ellie answered. „My favorite meal, granny. Chicken meat with vegetables and rice,“ she announced, smirking.

 

„Sounds good,“ Mary nodded her head, smiling, watching them working.

 

*

 

Lena changed the bed linen in the bedroom and in Ellie's room and went downstairs to do the same in Mary's room as well. As she walked around the kitchen, she stopped for a moment. Eric was moving around and Ellie kneeled on a chair, helping him. It was an amazing sight. She felt a lump in her throat and moisture in her eyes. Shaking her head she walked through the living room to Mary's bedroom.

 

Don't be silly! You don't have to tell him. Remember that he left you. Does he deserve to know about it? Maybe. But not now.

 

The thoughts whirled in her mind. She liked watching them together. They belonged together. The sight warmed her inside. But she was afraid to thinking of what might happen if he decided to disappear again. She didn't want to see her daughter heartbroken. She sighed and left the room. She turned on the washing machine in the bathroom and walked in the kitchen.

 

She steppped to her daughter, stroking her hair. „Are you helping, Ellie?“

 

Ellie nodded, glancing at her. She was beaming. Lena knew how much her daughter liked helping in the kitchen. She kissed Ellie on the crown of her head and glanced at Eric.

 

„Dinner's gonna be ready in a minute,“ he looked at her, winking.

 

„OK. I'm going to set the table,“ she briefly nodded.

 

*

 

After dinner Lena put the dishes in the dishwasher and went to the bathroom to pull the washed bed linen out of the washing machine. She put it in the laundry basket and brought it to the garden to hang laundry outside meanwhile Mary went to put Ellie in bed.

 

She put the basket on the grass and was about to walk inside to bring clothespins. She bumped into Eric in the doorway. He held her in his arms for a moment. It felt so good to hold her like that.

 

„Can I help you?“ he asked as he let her go.

 

„I'm sorry. I didn't see you,“ she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. „I need the clothespins to hang the laundry.“

 

He stepped aside to let her in. She retreated to the bathroom. She took a box of clothespins and went back outside. She saw him hanging the laundry on a washing line. It would be great to have him by my side. I would welcome some help now and then if he managed to be nice as he did. I'd missed him for all those years not only because of help. She stepped closer and started pinning the laundry on the washing line, letting him continue hanging the laundry.

 

„Done,“ he smiled, looking in her eyes as they finished.

 

„Thank you, Eric,“ she smiled. „I appreciate your help.“

 

„You're welcome. I'd like to do it every day for you, Lena,“ he took the basket as she was about to pick it up. „Would you like a cup of coffee?“ he asked, walking inside with the basket in his hand.

 

„Maybe we could drink some wine what do you think?“ she offered.

 

„OK. Just sit down. I'll be back,“ he disappeared inside. She settled on the bench, closing her eyes.

 

He put the basket in the bathroom, moved to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of wine out of the fridge. I wish to call this place my home. I feel incredibly good to be here with her and with the little princess. And with my mom, of course. He smiled for himself, took the bottle and two glasses and went outside to join her.

 

He filled their glasses and handed her one. „I won't keep you long. You should rest. You look tired.“ They clinked their glasses.

 

„Really? I'm fine,“ she smiled faintly.

 

He sipped from his glass and braced himself to take her hand. „You have to do everything on your own. You have to be tired. You take care of your daughter and the house. And you go to work as well,“ he shrugged.

 

„It's true,“ she sighed, glancing at their hands. She looked up. She felt the familiar sensation as his warmth and calmness surged from his touch through her veins. She closed her eyes for a moment. She could see it in his eyes he cared about her. She was aware that he did. „Are you trying to indicate I should take you back so you could help me?“ she squeezed his hand. „No offence, Eric,“ she added seeing him furrowing his forehead. „I know you.“

 

„I know it's hard for you to trust me, Lena,“ he shook his head. „But I'm helpless. How should I convince you? I have no idea,“ he looked in her eyes. „By the way I really think you need help. I can help you no matter what. I can cook or hang the laundry or anything you need. Whether you give me another chance or not, I swear, I'll come to help you anyway.“

 

She had to start laughing. „I'm sorry,“ she lifted her hands in defensive gesture. „You're just incredible,“ after a short hesitation she put her hand on his cheek. „Eric, I believe you mean it. But... you know... It's been six years. You didn't care how I lived.“

 

He lowered his eyes. „I understand your point of view, Lena,“ he looked up. „You can't imagine how much I'm sorry for that. I wish to make it to you for all those years that's why I struggle that much now,“ he swallowed. „If I could turn back time I would have done it. Without hesitation.“

 

„If you could turn back time... do you think you would have stayed?“ she tilted her head on one side. „I know I wouldn't have gone with you there... into the world where I don't belong. And you wouldn't have known that the success you'd expected would never come. You would have left again.“

 

He sighed. „Perhaps you're right. So tell me what should I do?“ he stroked her hand, lifting it to his lips, pressing a kiss in her palm. He let her hand go.

 

„I'm not sure. If I didn't like you it would be easier to tell you to leave me alone, Eric,“ she saw sparks in his eyes. „I really want to give you a second chance to be honest with you. I'm just afraid of another disappointment. I don't know how it's possible but every man in my life always disappointed me in the end. I've really had enough of it. I just want to live my life and be happy. Nothing more but nothing less,“ she broke off, brushing her hand against her forehead. „When you'd left I told myself that if it had to be I'd stay alone. No more hurt, no more tears, no more disappointment. Now you're back and the threat is back, too,“ she wiped moisture from her eyes.

 

„I think I can imagine what you feel and it hurts me,“ he shifted closer and hugged her. „I acted like an idiot but there's one thing I know for sure, Lena,“ he broke off. „I held back to tell you the whole time I've been back but... I still love you. That's why I returned. Even if I'd found the success I would have come back to you,“ he stroked her back.

 

„I could argue but this is already behind us,“ she said softly. „We should stop hurting each other. It's nice to listen to your words and I want to believe them so much,“ she cupped his face. „Think about everything one more time, Eric. Nothing will be the same as it was before. There's Ellie now. I know she likes you and I don't want you to hurt her. Think about it and we'll see. Let me know if living here with us is really what you want,“ she shook her head, putting her finger on his lips. „Don't answer right away, please.“

 

He nodded, love and understanding reflecting in his eyes. „I should go then,“ he touched his lips to hers in a whispy kiss. „Thank you for a fantastic day and evening,“ he finished his wine, got up and looked at her in the doorway before he left.

 

She was wondering if he would think about everything she told him. She hoped she made the right decision. It was a leap of faith if she looked at it from different point of view. Love is always 'do or die'. I can never be sure about anyone. She knew deep in her heart she loved him.

 

*

 

„Mom, when will Eric come again?“ Ellie asked as they arrived home.

 

„I'm not sure, Ellie. Why are you asking?“ Lena pulled bags with shopping out of the trunk and closed it.

 

„Because he's funny and can cook very well,“ Ellie hopped to the house.

 

„Really? Do you like him?“ Lena unlocked the door and walked in.

 

„Yes, I do,“ Ellie slipped out of her sandals. „And mom, why do I have no daddy?“

 

Lena stopped on the halfway to the kitchen, sharply turning to her. „It's a long story. Why did the thought cross your mind right now?“ she answered, walking in the kitchen. She put the bags on the counter and started emptying them.

 

„Because today I saw Zack's daddy who came to pick him up,“ Ellie came to stand in the middle of the kitchen, staring at Lena. „So tell me the long story, mom,“ she demanded, tugging Lena at the hem of her top.

 

„Wait a minute, OK?“ Lena said, sighing mentally. It would be hard. She finished what she was doing and poured coffee in a mug for herself. She sat down at the table and pulled her daughter closer. „Look, Ellie, your daddy had to leave before you were born,“ she stroked Ellie's hair and positioned her on her knees.

 

„So do I have daddy?!“ Ellie popped her eyes. „Where is he?“

 

„Yes, you do. He is...,“ Lena ran her hand through her hair. „He returned.“

 

„Now? Where was he? Didn't he want to see me? Doesn't he like me?“ Ellie became sad.

 

„Listen, Ellie. He doesn't know he has a daughter. I told you he had to leave before you were born, didn't I?“ she caressed her cheek. „Don't be sad. I missed him, too,“ she ruffled her hair. „By the way... I think you already know him.“

 

Ellie shot her eyes to her. „I don't understand. How could I know him when he doesn't know about me?“

 

„He doesn't know you're his daughter. But he knows you're mine,“ Lena said softly, smiling. „And on the contrary, I think he likes you very much.“

 

Ellie looked in her mom's eyes, processing it. „Who do you mean?“ she frowned. „Who is... my daddy?“ she asked suspiciously.

 

„It's Eric, sweetheart,“ she was about to stroke her hair but Ellie slid down her knees and ran outside. Lena sighed, dropping her face in her hands.

 

„Lena, what's wrong?“ Mary walked in the kitchen. „Ellie ran out of the house and hid in the garden under a tree,“ she sat next to her, stroking her forearm. „Are you OK?“

 

„I just told her about Eric. She was asking why she had no daddy,“ Lena's eyes glistened with tears. „I told her carefully that he had to leave before she was born. But when I told her it's Eric she ran away.“

 

„Oh... she has to process it, Lena. Don't worry, it will be OK,“ Mary hugged her shortly.

 

„No, it won't, Mary. I'm afraid that she will hate him now,“ Lena shook her head. „I shouldn't have told her.“

 

„No, it can't be true,“ Mary put her hand over her mouth.

 

Lena shrugged. „I'm silly. I don't know what to do now. Probably there's nothing I could do.“

 

„We'll see,“ Mary sighed, looking worried.

 

Lena got up. „I'm going to change. Keep your eye on her, please,“ she slowly retreated upstairs.

 

Mary walked on the back porch and resumed knitting, glancing at Ellie every now and then. She felt bad about the situation. Lena looked worried and tired, she doesn't deserve this. And Ellie... she has to be torn.

 

Within minutes she spotted Ellie trudging in the grass. She said nothing waiting till she came closer.

 

„Granny?“ Ellie came to stand to the table, putting her elbows on it. „My mom told me Eric's my daddy.“

 

Mary nodded, her face serious and put the knitting aside. She shifted a bit to make space for Ellie, patting the place next to her. „Do you want to talk about it, Ellie?“

 

Ellie took a seat, looking thoughtful. „Mrs. Walkers at preschool told us that only two people, mom and daddy, who love each other, can have a baby,“ she looked up at her granny. „Does it mean that my daddy didn't love my mom when I was born and he wasn't here?“

 

„No, Ellie, it's not true,“ Mary stroked her hair. „Did Mrs. Walkers tell you that it takes nine months before a baby is born?“

 

„No, she didn't. Where is the baby before it is born?“ she lifted her eyebrow.

 

„The baby is hidden in its mom's belly. After the nine months it can be born, Ellie,“ Mary took her hand. „And when your daddy had to leave, neither he or your mom knew you were in her belly. And when your mom found out your daddy was gone.“

 

„And how can the baby get out of mom's belly?“ Ellie asked curious.

 

„In a hospital. There are doctors who help the baby to be born, you know?“ Lena answered, standing in the doorway. „I'm ready to answer everything you need to know, Ellie,“ she sat down on the chair.

 

Ellie nodded. „Why didn't you tell him I'm here?“

 

„Because I thought he never wanted to come back,“ Lena swallowed.

 

„And why didn't you tell him when he returned?“ Ellie asked adamantly.

 

„Because I was angry with him, Ellie,“ Lena felt like being subjected to examination but she wanted her daughter to know the truth. „I was here alone, raising you. I had no idea he could come back.“

 

„He would come back if he knew about me,“ Ellie argued.

 

„Maybe. But I wanted him to come back because he wanted to. It would be different if he returned because he had to, do you understand? Now he's back because he wants to be with us but he doesn't need to. I know it's hard for you to understand,“ she stroked her cheek. „You also don't like to do something because you have to. You like to do things you want to do, don't you?“

 

„Do you like him, mom?“ Ellie looked in her eyes.

 

„Yes, I do,“ Lena whispered. „You said you like him, too.“

 

„He should be here, with you and me. I don't like he was gone for so long,“ Ellie frowned.

 

„That's why I was angry with him, too. But I already forgave him because now he's here. He cares about us you know? Even though I was angry he didn't give up. Remember how he took you to the hospital when you were sick. He cooked your favorite meal, he tried to be around. The whole time he's been back he tries to convince me about his love for you and me,“ she squeezed her shoulder. „I know it's too much informations, Ellie. You can think about it.“

 

„Will you tell him?“ Ellie asked, unsure.

 

„Should I?“ Lena smiled.

 

„Not yet,“ Ellie shook her head no.

 

„Do you have a plan? What do you want to do?“ Lena asked, worriedly.

 

„I don't know,“ she shrugged.

 

„Be careful, Ellie. Don't hurt him,“ Mary stroked her hair.

 

Ellie nodded and ran inside. In no time she was back with a paper and coloured pencils. She sat back on the bench and started drawing.