unknown

'As for today I promise I'll never stay sober. As if it was possible...with you. It seems like all of your dreams are wasted, aren't they? Don't feel like you are forced to answer rightaway, as I wouldn't if I were in a state of loneliness you are currently in. Here, I've made you a present. I've carved your name into it as I wasn't able to carve your beauty. Please forgive me that.' she stood there with her eyes wide open, her mouth dry and breathless. She didn't expect anything from him, let alone this. 'Seems like I was wrong.' she said with her soothing voice that belong only to him now. Maybe he loved her, maybe it was mere words of phoney love. He dreamt of this moment for weeks and was ready to do the best to comfort her. 'Please no.' she said mildly. Silence in the room was now so intensive they could hear barking dogs outside the appartment. They were careless, as if they could care. The only pleasure of life they had was barking and fighting with each other. He now felt like them. 'I can't.' She said . 'They'd find out.' He didn't seem to stand another rejection. 'I'm sorry, but as I said, they'd find out.' he stood by a misty window. The view was impressive indeed. Two majestic statues of lions made of copper seemed to give a cold stare at everybody who entered.

She closed her eyes for a while, waiting for what was going to happen, ready to face her fate. It was unthinkable of him to run away from the battlefield, even if it was mere love. He was not ready for another rejection. 'I see.' he said turning away from her beautiful white face. She could see the disappointment in his eyes, they were ready to scream at her, words like 'Why am I here if I can't have your love?'

But apparently, she didn't have an answer. The last time she saw him was that day, late afternoon, he was feeding the dogs that reflected the way he felt. Living as he was supposed to be, doing the same things daily, fenced house, it didn't matter it was a vast mansion, now he never felt so lone. People said he'd sell his own soul to the Devil for some reason. He was like that all the time. Except that day. It was early in the morning when he noticed the clocks in his room going tic-toc. All over again. He could not return to bed and because he was still fond of long walks he got himself off to the country. Passing throught the streets of western London, he seemed to be an ordinary citizen, noone special. Wearing his old brown coat and fake leather shoes. He even took his hat to not get recognized. He's never been out on his own. There was always somebody to follow or guide him. Strange feeling got stock in his stomach, his fists clenched nervously and he focused his sight on the place he was heading to. Beneath his foot he could feel the brownish soil of what he called home. ' Knock, knock' his pace got fastened. ' Knock, knock' he was frightened of his own treads. Suddenly he stopped and stood there for a while. If somebody was there to observe him at that moment, he'd definitely have noticed that this man was doing nothing more than thinking. He was thinking what to do now, why he went here. All the doubts he hid deep in his mind now came up to him all of a sudden. Surely he was thinking, thinking about death.