At once

I dreamed of becoming a poet
but never dared
to enter the field behind
the closed door of crystal
so ephemeral between
the abandoned lines.
I wished to grasp the sense...
the very sense of being
but
AT ONCE
I lost all courage
and run away.
It remained hidden,
and sometimes,
when I allow myself a moment
of unconstrained thinking
I doubt
whether it was ever there.